Many of us missional women, along the journey of life, may find ourselves married and with missionary kids (MK’s)  or maybe you are a MK yourself or work with a c0-worker that has MK’s.  

 

Taken in 1995 of our Family

I just recently wrote my two middle children of 4 (Shawna and Shane), who are MK’s, and happen to like to write, 

 

” I would like to invite you to write something for my blog if interested? I think my audience would be interested in hearing what you have to say.  “What was it like to grow up in the Philippines 🇵🇭 as an MK missionary kid? Good and bad , if any, and in what ways has it impacted your life today ? Or if you were to share one story about your life as an MK what would it be and why ?“

 

Both of them responded back.  Shane, our third child wrote, VIVID DREAM (October 2019) and Shawna our second  child, will share one of her stories this week in MY SOUL FELT LIKE ONE OF THEM (NOVEMBER 2019).  Both are grown and out of the home. We are very blessed by what they have become. I think you will enjoy their insights.

 

 WHAT IS IT LIKE TO BE A MISSIONARY KID?

 

Psalm 139:16 “You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.” (NLT) 

Shawna lives in Pennsylvania, and has been married to Matt Kussmaul, her high school sweetheart since 2010. They have 2 adorable twin boy’s born June 2016. Shawna was born in the Philippines and graduated from Moody Bible Institute with a degree in Women’s Ministry. Besides being an active mom she works alongside of us, her parents with our Next Gen Leaders (NGLC), among other things. (www.nextgenleader.net) Shawna, is a young leader in her own right and is an invaluable part of the team with her eye for details, and her compassion, and intuitive understanding of people.   

“MY SOUL FELT LIKE ONE OF THEM”

by Shawna O’Neill

ONLY STORY I KNOW

My life as a missionary kid… where to start? Sometimes, you are asked to share your story and you know exactly why it was unique or worth telling and you dive right in. And then other times you are asked to share your story and it is the only story you know, it is your only normal, so you can’t think of ways to tell it so that others can appreciate how different your life was from theirs. This story is the latter of those two. I will do my best to summarize my childhood and why growing up as a missionary kid was unique.

IT WAS HOME 

The hardest question for me to answer as a child was, “What was the Philippines like?” For the longest time I just kinda gave people a blank stare while I though, duh, it’s home. How much dummer can your question get. (Remember, I was 8 when we left, still unaware that my normal was not everyone else’s normal.) …IT WAS HOME!

The Philippines was all I knew and America was the strange foreign land that made no sense to me. Even to this day, while I feel more at home in the United States of America than I would in the Philippines, there are some parts of me that are so out of place that I know will never change. 

For example: while I like pop culture and appreciate the latest movie and know who the top actors are, I couldn’t tell you their names to save my life. I am only now in my thirties learning about musical icons that my peers and the entire nation have revered for decades. I just didn’t grow up in that orbit so it doesn’t make sense to me why I would create space in my brain to remember all of that. Also, you will never hear me complain about the humidity of Pennsylvania summers. Although, you will hear me whine a lot about the winters. Seasonal depression is real man.

When you are born into the tropics and you need the weather to be at least 90 degrees before you start to get a good sweat on, the heat is glorious. And the way I was taught to host, invite people into my space and help them feel at home is very different. I think a lot of times it blesses people that I am so different and offer a fresh perspective, but sometimes my husband has to give me a nudge and say, “Shawna, that’s not ok to do that.” Or, “Shawna, people don’t ask each other those kinds of personal questions.” My sense of personal space when it comes to wanting to learn about people’s lives and their stories is not normal in America. In these ways I have always, and think I will always, feel out of place.

THAT’S OK!  I LIKE WHO I AM!

But that’s ok. I like who I am. I like having been born and raised in a different country. I like that I thrive in the summer. I like that I can see the whole world and appreciate different stories, experiences and perspectives and not just assume everyone is like me. I like the way I create a space of peace and welcome in my home. I like that my invasive questions help people know that I care and I truly want to hear their stories. If you come into my home, no matter the state of my house, you will know that you matter to me. 

MY SOUL FELT LIKE ONE OF THEM  

So, to answer the question, “what was it like to grow up in the Philippines?” All I remember was being a kid, running free, being allowed to go barefoot wherever I wanted to. I was pointed at, stared at and touched without invitation because they admired my red hair and porcelain skin. I hated it! And yet, when we moved back to the states, I asked my mom once why I wasn’t adored like I was back home. I hated standing out in the Philippines, because that meant I was an outsider when my soul felt like one of them. I actually got in a fight with some friends at school a few years after returning to the U.S. because I told them I was part Filippino, believing I actually had Filippino blood running through my veins, and they told me I wasn’t. I went home crying to my mom about this very troubling experience. But I also didn’t feel normal in a sea full of people who looked like me here in the U.S. As a result, I don’t think I ever fully formed a national bond to a country.

MY FAMILY IS MY NATIONALITY IDENTITY

In a lot of ways, my family is my nationality. They formed my identity, they shaped me, they stuck by me as I sought to find my way through identity from one country to the next. I feel most at home when my family is around me. That’s what it was like for me to be born in the Philippines. I am forever bonded to my family and was shaped by them. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Shawna’s story reminds me even though we live in this world, we should hold our earthly citizenship lightly.  God does map out our lives . I am blessed to see how Shawna continues to shine God’s love where she has learned to navigate two different worlds and to be content in her own unique space.  

PERSONALITY REFLECTION: What resonates with your heart when you read Shawna’s story? How can you help yourself discern your own uniqueness, through the various cultures God has allowed you to experience? How have you helped your child(ren) to navigate both worlds?  How does Shawna’s narrative remind you of our relationship with the Lord in comparison to this world.  Would love to hear any of your comments.  

From One Pilgrim to another together on the journey,

“Consider how you may spur one another on towards love and good deeds….. encouraging one another–and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:24-25 (NIV)

“ Intentionally journeying alongside women in order to encourage them to see God in their story, moving them closer to Jesus, and to discover their place in God’s Kingdom”