“She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. Strength and dignity are her clothing and she laughs at the time to come.” Proverbs 31:16-18, 25
As I think of mothers this Mother’s Day season, I can’t help but think of my mom. Much of who I am started with her. She is not perfect but she did do some things well. We don’t always appreciate what our mom’s mean to us until years later or sometimes after they are gone. I for one don’t want to wait until my mom is gone to remember all the good things she has done for me.
Knowing my mom likes to talk best in the car when her thinking juices are running as she looks out at the scenery around her. So about 4 years ago, when Mema (as my children call her) was visiting our home, (she is now 84), I asked her questions about some of her life’s experiences.
I don’t know about you but I wonder how many of us often don’t see our moms beyond just being our moms? “Oh that’s just my mom”. There is so much more to our mothers that just being ‘mom.’
Nothing wrong with being mom, of course, but as I asked her more about her early life, I learned some things I didn’t know. I stood in amazement. Take note, don’t wait until they can’t remember and you wished you had asked. I do wish I had asked more because in just 4 years now my mom cannot recall details like she once did.
When my mother was 18 years old she asked her parents if she could take atleast a year off from college and go to New York City with a best friend, named Rosetta.
Two southern girls wanting an adventure, took off to New York City. It blows my mind to think of my mom being so adventurous, better yet her parents even letting her go to that great city.
She attended a modeling school there that year and then came home at the request of her parents. In returning she started, in her parents home, the first charm school in South Carolina, which she used to help pay her way through college. There is even a picture to prove it. The local newspaper heard about this young lady, the influence and impact she was making, so they decided to interview her, writing her story up in the area paper.
Later she modeled clothes for local department stores’ magazines. Someone entered her in a beauty pageant where she won “1st runner up to Miss South Carolina” among other awards.
When we were little, to help with cost of the family budget my mother taught private art classes. She wanted to be near us and available so she provided group classes in the home. She did this for years.
Because she did this I aspired to do this many years later when my kids were small. I have sweet memories of her helping me get my art business off the ground. I did it for about 6 years in various forms. Even my children were exposed to her influence, taking art from her and from me.
I also remember her doing the lunch room bulletin boards while I was in elementary school. I was so proud to say that my mom was the one who did them.
Mom would make winter snow scenes in the front windows of local businesses in our community. Traces of my mom could be seen all over our part of town. Remember, too, this was before anyone else was doing this kind of thing.
My mom once took a Christmas tree to church in September. “ Who is this for?” I asked.
“For missionaries serving overseas “. One of my first exposures to these great heroes called overseas workers, who were willing to give up what they knew and go to a people not their own to serve and share Christ. A seed was planted. Many years later I would be making that same decision as a call on my life.
My mom started several in-home jobs like “MaryKay” makeup or “Figurette” undergarments businesses. When my mom had meetings with her team under her I would be right there to listen.
A little girl watching her mom speak and lead meetings to great success, planted another desire in me. I memorized all of her speeches. Turning around only to sell to my friends, mimicking my mom’s everyword, to the “T”.
God was developing me in ways I did not realize until much later. I love to encourage people forward and speak on topics that train them in their personal and/or leadership development. I was seeing I could speak in front of people and loved it even back then.
Many years later when my mom found herself an empt- nester, and divorced from my dad, she moved from Greenville, South Carolina, to Hilton Head Island, South Carolina. Her thought was to start a new life. She began her own business as a cleaning lady. She said, “What can I do? I know, I can clean homes”.
(Tiffany our youngest with her MEMA)
Hilton Head, South Carolina, is known for its resorts. A beautiful place to take one’s vacation. Many even retire there or live there seasonally and rent their homes out the other times of the year. She made such a name for herself. In many of these gated communities, rental managers would then contract my mom out to clean these places. My mom was known as a lady who could be trusted and depended on. A woman of integrity.
She ended up managing a team, about 20 people with about 5 different crews that would be hired out to clean. She named it the “White Glove” cleaning service. She, rather, was known as the “White Glove Lady”.
After many years, she sold it for a lot of money. People not only were buying her business but her name, her reputation.
A pure Entrepreneur my mom was. When I told my mom she was such an Entrepreneur, she said “What?” She had no idea what I was talking about. My mother was very resourceful and full of character.
The reason she retired from her cleaning business was to go and be with her father, my grandfather, who lived in Columbia, South Carolina. She started teaching art again in his home. Even taught the daughter of the Governor of South Carolina, at that time.
She served my grandfather well for 13 years, who died at age 92 is the one I am named after, Jimmy Sterling Farr. My mother, Mema, so affectionally called by our kids, has taught us to honor older people and how to serve others well. The beauty and worth of people. Because of my mom we got to know my grandfather well. A man of wisdom.
At the end of April, I spent a week with my mom. What I enjoyed the most was just lying next to her in bed. Giving my mom a chance, for one of the first times to watch a Netflix show on a computer.
She gave up one of her favorite TV shows “Bonanza” (which isn’t often), to watch another show with me next to her. She was so amazed. “How does it get into the box?”, she asked. Nothing like just being next to someone giving them your presence.
Moms are amazing; they seem to always be there for us. Truly a gift from God. Reminding me of God, who is always there even when our moms are not. One day she will be gone but these stories and memories will forever go on in my mind and heart.
Looking at the roadmap of our past often gives us a glimpse of where God may have been in our story even when we didn’t know HE was. Or should I say show us whe have been in His Story all along. Much of what I am and do started in a small way with the influence of my mom in my life.
Mema, you are one of my favorite heroes. In a life time she has exhibited integrity, dependability, hardwork, resourcefulness, creativity, character, wisdom, care and love for her family, perseverence, a leader in her own right (Entrepreneur), among many other things, all as a single mom. HAPPY MOTHERS DAY! You are amazing!
PERSONAL REFLECTION: What stood out to you about my story? If you could or would have liked to have asked your mom anything, what would you ask? What is one good memory you can share about your mom that is special to you? If your mom is still living, but she died tomorrow what would you say about her? Take time to go and share with her, it is never too late. If your mom has passed, God can hear you. Would love to hear your comments below.
From One Pilgrim to another together on the journey,
”Consider how you may spur one another on towards love and good deeds….. encouraging one another–and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:24-25 (NIV)
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