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Sterling O'Neill

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The Lost Art of the Sabbatical Rest Series 1

Making The Case For Sabbath Rest (Part 1 of 3)

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 Blog entry written by both Jim and Sterling O’Neill

About Dr. Jim O’Neill: Husband of Sterling O’Neill.  Been married now almost 37 years. Degrees in Pastoral, Missiology and Anthropology. Served in the Philippines for 13 years and in missions work for over 36 years. Leader, Speaker, and Author of “Teaming up with God: Theology of Pre-Evangelism”.

” Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest…“ (Matthew 11:28)

 

Why did it take us, so long to pursue a sabbath rest for our own souls? We love the Lord and we love ministry but we had definite seasons where we were serving on empty in our spiritual tank. We did not grow up in a ministry context where we valued rest for the soul.

After one busy ministry season one pastor graciously asked, “Have you taken time to rest?  

“Sure,” we said, “We take times off for dates,vacations, extra study and think tank times. We think we do pretty good in these areas. It just has been a busy season. ”  

He said “How about times where you are unplugging from your computer or cell phones?”

Ouch! “Noooo! Not really. Great question!” Guilty!
(more…)

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LEGACIES

In Celebration of Parents

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“…things that we heard and known, that our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done…. so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments….” (Psalm 78: 3,4,7) 

Our second daughter (left in picture above) with  her daddy, especially, had this little game they use to play.

Shawna: “I love you daddy”.

Dad: “I love you more”.

Shawna: “l love you most “.

Dad: “I love you all the way to the moon “.

Shawna: “But daddy, I love you all the way to the moon and back”.

 

Just like I fondly remember saying with my dad when I was young but mine went something like this:

“I love you daddy.”

“I love you back!”

I would spread my arms out wide and say  “I love you thisssss much”.  A hug usually followed.  

These are the moments when thought of that make one smile with delight.     (more…)

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MOVING ON IS NOT ALWAYS EASY

Intentional Next Steps

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“TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART AND LEAN NOT ON OUR OWN UNDERSTANDING; IN ALL YOUR WAYS SUBMIT TO HIM AND HE WILL MAKE YOUR PATHS STRAIGHT.” Proverbs 3:6

In 1995, after 13 years in the Philippines, we felt God was asking Jim (my husband) to take the Mission’s Professor and Director position at LU. We realized this would be a good next step in multiplying ourselves and God’s Kingdom for the nations. Yet this would not be an easy next move. The Philippines had become home for us!  

Let me backtrack, we had been back in the States for Home Ministry for a good one year already. We visited each of our partner churches and individuals, reporting to them the good work God was doing in the Philippines. Reestablishing these relationships with our partners was special.

The kids experienced formal school during our home assignment for the first time since leaving the Philippines where we home-schooled them. God had provided a beautiful old bed and breakfast home on a cow and corn farm in Lancaster, PA, that had been converted into an apartment for us to live in for the year. Many memories were made. Our children learned to skate, ride bikes, and had lots of experiences of life in the USA. It was a fun and replenishing year squeezing in all we could with family and friends, thinking all the time we would be returning to the Philippines soon for another 4 more years. Only to find out God would be prompting us toward a different direction.


“God are you calling us back to the States?” Like Samson in the Bible, we at first ignored these promptings. “Surely God wouldn’t be calling us back. There is still work to be done in the Philippines.” Again, “God are you really (3x) calling us back to the States? Lord, the US is a nice place to visit but we don’t want to live here.” (more…)

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I DON’T LIKE TENNIS!

We Plan But God Directs

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“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” (Proverbs 16:9 (ESV)

When you were young was there a sport or hobby, or a skill you were made to participate in or develop that you didn’t like? Or something you were working hard on but it didn’t turn out the way you felt it should have, wasting all of your time?    

When I was young, tennis was something my grandmother and aunt played and desired for me. It was the known game of the “elite” (those with more financial means, usually those with power and influence or privilege). I didn’t consider myself “those people”. I thought, to be “one” of them meant you weren’t friendly to others less fortunate than you.

But because I loved and was taught to respect my grandmother I took the tennis lessons she paid for. I learned the basics of tennis but never really developed my form. Oh how my grandmother would be smiling today if she were to see me. Presently, Jim and I play several times a week. I’ve come a long way since those formative years. (more…)

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PUSH! PUSH!

Cultural Differences (PART 2)

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“Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward.” Psalm 127:3

Leading up to the delivery of our first child in the Philippines, where we served, our team leader and his wife, came to the house with doctor and nursing outfits on, ready to teach us the Lamaze method of child delivery. Natural childbirth classes were underway. What a great evening sitting around laughing and learning together.

The week before, the doctor and the hospital let me go into the delivery room to put up a mirror so I could see the baby delivered. That was what they were doing in the States. Why should I miss out on anything just because I decided to heed the call to go to the Philippines?  Oh, the passion of youth! The maintenance man helped me figure out where to put the mirror.  

Two weeks after the due date I woke up in the middle of the night on Oct. 11th, 1983 with contractions telling me it was time for this little one to come.  Jim and I, like little kids, giggled. The long awaited time had come. We were finally going to be parents. Will it be a girl or a boy? It was a special bonding moment between the two of us. Until my water popped. (more…)

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FINDING A DOCTOR

Cultural Differences (Part 1)

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For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. (Romans 12:3)

You can mark it down, there will be cultural differences when moving to a new culture. But it doesn’t mean anyone’s ways are right or wrong just opposite than you are familiar with, in most cases. Learning to appreciate those variances is important but may take time. Such rich varieties of cultures is God’s idea. It expresses His creativity and allows us to convey our God-given gifts as His image-bearers. We are not to think of ourselves more highly than we should but extend grace where we can when moving to another culture.

For example, one of the first things I was always told when moving to a new place in the US, besides looking for the best school for your child (if you have kids), was to make sure you find a good doctor in the area. However, pursuing medical professionals in another culture can be most challenging. Why?

First, there may not be wi-fi or google to search out quality doctors. 

Second, if one’s teammates haven’t paved the way, then strangers from your host culture may be called upon for advice. 

What questions do I ask? Who do I ask? I know so few people here. How would they know my values as to what I like in a doctor?  

Third, what if they don’t speak English? Talk about being vulnerable and feeling insecure!

By the time Jim and I arrived in the Philippines we had been married for a year and a half. We were ready to start a family. In hindsight, since we had the choice, we should have pursued language study before we even considered children. (Take note new field workers!!) But, six months after arriving in the Philippines, I found myself pregnant.  (more…)

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TEACHABLE MOMENTS

God's Love and Discipling of Others (Especially our Children) Starts with Us

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“My son, pay attention to what I say; turn your ear to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to one’s whole body. Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:20-23

As I was reading a blog by Keith Webb on “How Vulnerability Makes you a Stronger Leader” I read two insights on leadership and vulnerability: 

“When we honestly acknowledge our faults and weaknesses we unlock leader development dynamics that strengthen not only you but the people around you.”

“Being vulnerable really comes down to humbly acknowledging weakness, asking for help and empowering others to use their strength” (keithwebb.com)

MOTHER, THE CEO

What stands out in your mind’s eye as you read these quotes above? As mothers we have the opportunity to grow in skills of leadership development too. Yes, leadership development. We are leading, as well as modeling what leadership looks like to our children. Scary thought.

So what leadership dynamics are you learning along the way?  

As parents we don’t always have the answers yet we make our kids often feel we do. What happens when they are grown and don’t always have the answers? What are we modeling for them?  

It is in those “Teachable Moments” where we find some of our greatest growth and most significant impact.  Below is a simple story (not always this clear) where the principles of leadership are displayed and can be applied in most any situation as we work with people.

When our daughter was 13, now 33, she decided she wanted to cut her hair. I was out for the evening so the next morning when I went to wake her up for school I noticed her hair.  The whole front of her hair had been chopped off.  “Kelli what did you do?”  I could have used a little bit of humor at that moment. (more…)

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TEARS IN A BOTTLE

Grieving well

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“You have taken account of my wanderings, put my tears in Your bottle; are they not in your book?” (Psalm 56:8)  (NASB)

When I share my heart, tears just seem to flow unexpectedly. Feeling uncomfortable I say “I am sorry” followed by excuses as to why.

When I read from Scripture I draw encouragement from Paul’s tears, a great strong image of a man. In Acts 20:19, it says “as he served the Lord in all humility, he had many tears and trials.” Also in 2 Timothy 1:4 we see that Paul was mindful of even Timothy’s tears, a Church Planter.

Yet when I cry I somehow feel embarrassed. I am not sure where that feeling comes from but I find spilling tears, to be vulnerable. I cannot always predict or hold them back, they just come. How about you?

When I was recently attending a women’s retreat this past October 2016 (www.WomensDeveopmentTrack.com) one of the expectations of my small group was that we would not apologize for our tears, trying to make it a safe place to share. It was so freeing but I must say it wasn’t easy to break old habits.

This was the first public meeting I had been to since my younger sister’s passing last July, just 4 months earlier. To be honest, I was a little nervous about going, a little fearful even. I wanted to grieve well my sister’s death and not shortchange what God was doing in my heart. I was still wrestling with what it means to grieve well.

Many thoughts entered my mind: There will be strangers there? What will they ask me? Would I have anything to give them? Maybe I will share too much? Will they understand? I was already vulnerable in my grieving and the thought of putting myself in a more vulnerable situation was scary. Too much unknown in a season where I didn’t know exactly what I was feeling. What was I thinking signing up for this retreat? (more…)

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ARE YOU WORRIED?

His Mercies are New Each Day

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Philippines 4:8, “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”

As I was traveling today at 7:30 am, listening to music on my phone, the verse again that I had prayed to myself the day before popped into my head. His mercies and steadfast love are new each day from Lamentations. 3:22-23.

I had just come out of a normal medical procedure the week before that left me a little rattled. I am not getting any younger and each year the stakes get a little higher for medical examines coming out “positive”. However, from all outward appearance there was no reason for me to worry except for a few slight changes that concerned me. Of course those were the ones that I “naturally” honed in on.

Philippines 4:8 tells us to think on things that are good, pure, and truthful. I thought I was doing pretty good until the whole procedure was over and the results all came back a resounding “negative”.  It was then I felt my body relaxing. I was surprised I was worrying more then I wanted to let on.       (more…)

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THE BABY SHOWER

Teaming up with God

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     I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. 

(I Corinthians 3:6)

Indie, horrified that she gave birth to a Down Syndrome baby girl, now carried the burden of what people might say about her. On our island, generally the Filipino’s believe if a baby is different in any way it is because the sins of the parents have been passed down to the child. Many parts of the world believe this too.   

So when their little girl was born with Down Syndrome, people seemed to talk in the community. They said it was because of Indie’s sins, that God was angry and was passing judgment on her and her family. She was now being ostracized by her own culture.

How would one move in, team up with God and share Christ and His love in this context?  (more…)